The Smell of Books
by Kali and Mimi
Summary: In which Heero reads a book, and Duo comments.


The Smell of Books  
  
"What're you reading, Heero?"  
  
"A book."  
  
"Well, yeah, obviously, but *what* book are you reading?"  
  
"Just a book."  
  
"Yeah, I get that Heero, but what's the title of the book?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Whaddya mean you don't know? You're *reading* it, how can you not know what it's called?"  
  
"There's no title."  
  
"No title? How can it not have a title? Even if it has no cover, a book's title is normally plastered on every single page, and on the title page, too."  
  
"This book really doesn't have a title, Duo."  
  
"Heh. That's pretty cool. I've never seen a book without a title."  
  
"Now you have."  
  
"So what's the book without a title about?"  
  
"A man."  
  
"Could you be a little more specific, Heero?"  
  
"It's about a man, and his life."  
  
"I gathered that, Heero. What's the point of the book though? Like, is there a plot or anything?"  
  
"Yes, the plot is his life."  
  
"Let me get this straight. You're reading a book about a man's life. Aren't there any major conflicts or anything?"  
  
"Major as in life-changing?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"No. Not yet at least."  
  
"But you're friggin' halfway through the book, Heero. Nothing at *all* has happened yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You seem pretty into it for a book with no apparent plot."  
  
"It's interesting."  
  
"What's the man's name?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"The author didn't even give the man a name?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What kind of book *is* this, Heero?"  
  
"Just a book."  
  
"Is it a biography of some sort? Some kind of 'innovative' biography where the reader has to guess who the author's talking about?"  
  
"No. It's set in some sort of fantastic world."  
  
"Oh! So it's a fantasy."  
  
"No."  
  
"You're confusing me here, Heero. It's set in a make-believe world, but it's not a fantasy. How can that possibly be true?"  
  
"The laws of physics were broken. Obviously, the person who wrote this was setting it in a made-up place if the laws of physics can be broken in the man's world."  
  
"Heero, what law did he break?"  
  
"The man witnessed a minor car crash and noted that the driver's body was thrown backwards. However, the driver's body should have moved forwards and not backwards."  
  
"Heero, not everyone knows the laws of physics and understands them as well as you do. Or me, for that matter. Give the author a break. He probably just didn't know that what he was writing was wrong."  
  
"I suppose that could be the case. But it still qualifies it as a fantasy."  
  
"Heero, you're hopeless, man. A fantasy is way different from a car crash that doesn't obey the laws of physics. Trust me on this. You ever read a *real* fantasy?"  
  
"Yes. That book you lent me."  
  
"Yeah, see? Anyway, back to the book you're reading. Where'd you find it?"  
  
"On the ground."  
  
"So you just picked it up?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, at least you're enjoying it."  
  
"It's actually quite boring."  
  
"I thought you said it was interesting..."  
  
"I lied."  
  
"So why are you reading it?"  
  
"It might get better later on."  
  
"Ah. I admire your optimism."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Maybe you should stop reading it, though. I mean, you're what, 150 pages into the book, and you're still not liking it. Seems like a waste of time to me."  
  
"It's not a total waste of time. I've learned quite a bit actually."  
  
"What did you learn?"  
  
"That all the people involved in the writing and publishing of the book don't know *anything* about physics. I found another mistake."  
  
"Heero, man, stop reading the book. It's pointless. You're trying to find something you've learned from it and you're coming up with the stupidest things ever."  
  
"No, I think I'll finish it."  
  
"Heero, it's *dumb.* Stop reading it."  
  
"I've read worse. I'll manage."  
  
"Fine. Waste your time."  
  
"Why are you getting mad?"  
  
"'Cause you're so incredibly anal."  
  
"Anal?"  
  
"Yeah, anal."  
  
"Why am I anal?"  
  
"...you're forcing yourself to read a book that you've just admitted is boring, and pretty much meaningless. You really have to ask?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Ha! See! Even you know you're anal! No one finishes books they hate!"  
  
"...but many people also don't read the *ending* of the book before they read the rest of it, unlike you, Duo."  
  
"*So* many people, do, Heero. Seriously. There are way more people like me than like you."  
  
"Prove it."  
  
"...uh...I doubt there are actual scientific studies on reading habits, Heero."  
  
"You can't prove it, can you, Duo."  
  
"Maybe not *this* time, but the next time, I will. Just wait, Heero!"  
  
"...alright."  
  
"Argh, you can't be serious...you're still going to read the bloody thing?"  
  
"I told you, Duo, I intend to *finish* it."  
  
"Fine! But don't expect any sympathy from me when you realize you've wasted two hours of your life!"  
  
"...I won't."  
  
"Wait a sec...Heero, are you reading somebody's journal?"  
  
"No! What made you think that?"  
  
"...but if the book doesn't have a title, doesn't have the author's name on it...Gimme that!"  
  
"Get away from me, Duo!"  
  
"Who's journal are you reading, Heero?! I wanna see!"  
  
"I'm not reading anyone's journal!"  
  
"You so are! You just don't want anyone to know how nosy you are!"  
  
"I am *not* nosy!"  
  
"You *so* are! Argh! You're such a liar! All the stuff about the broken laws of physics, you totally made up!"  
  
"I didn't! And I'm not reading anyone's journal!"  
  
"Liar! C'mon, Heero, lemme see!"  
  
"...fine. But promise not to tell *anyone* where you got it."  
  
"I promise."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"...how'd you get *his* journal?"  
  
"...I told you...I picked it up."  
  
"He is *never* going to live this down. Ever."  
  
"Duo! I told you, you can't tell *anyone.*"  
  
"Where I got it remember? You never said I couldn't say anything about having seen it..."  
  
"...you're pathetic."  
  
"Look who's talking! You're the one who took it in the first place and *read* it first."  
  
"Fine. How about we both just not say *anything* about it, okay?"  
  
"Agreed."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Oh. my. god."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
"I feel vaguely guilty."  
  
"So do I."  
  
"Maybe we should stop reading this."  
  
"Perhaps."  
  
"...I really don't want to, though."  
  
"It *is* interesting."  
  
"...better than *any* book."  
  
"And there are no broken laws of physics."  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You are *so* pathetic it's not even funny."  
  
"...oh, shut up."  
  
___________________________________________  
  
Nosiness is fun. 


End file.
